My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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