he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize