Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My ass is underappreciated
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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