Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
