Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
