I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Operation Purity has been aborted
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
