you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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