i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i think my cat just said my name.
Randomize
