I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
