I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize