is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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