New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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