do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
