So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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