Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
