when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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