Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
