i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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