also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
bring money and cleavage
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
