Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Randomize
