I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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