So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
