I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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