areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
