I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
