I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
