my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
