I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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