dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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