Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She's the barista slut.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
