you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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