I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
