I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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