You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
