She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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