Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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