We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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