no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
