adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
