So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
