I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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