Its about making memories worth repressing
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
