He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize