elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i think i just lost a toe
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
