Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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