I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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