Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
