i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I got chris browned last night
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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