TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
