Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
