I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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