You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
