You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
