ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
