I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
