nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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