I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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