We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
