Need sex. Gaining weight.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize