Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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