You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
