I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
